Espionage for Dummies
by Numbuh Phenon
Summary: When Rachel tricks, er, enlists Wally into collecting a super important "Package", chaos unfolds as he goes where no agent has dared gone before...A Doctor-Time Space Convention. Who knew spying could be so nerdy?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Codename Kids Next Door.**

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><p>"Numbuh 362! Sector T is in a shoot-out with the Six Gum Gang! They might need field support!"<p>

"Numbuh 362! Numbuh 60 needs the moonbase janitorial team sent down to the Arctic, the Toiletnator clogged up all the toilets in the prison wing again!"

"Numbuh 362! Did you send Numbuh 86 her Decommissioning Slips yet? She's got two teens ready to be wiped but no proper paperwork permission!"

"Numbuh 362! Wanna have a sleepover?"

"Alright! _Alright!_" Rachel stressed as she spun on her heel. She was then faced with a horde of kids, all apparently having some form of oh so important information they just had to get off their chests all at once. Rolling her eyes, the blonde put her fingers to her lips and let off a silencing whistle. In the echo, all present company fell deathly quiet. She would have to thank Patton for showing her that trick.

"Okay everyone, I know you all raise very pressing concerns, but I can't handle every crisis under the sun. I'm not Numbuh Zero, for Pete's sake," she joked. When no one even uttered a giggle, she sighed.

"In order: Numbuh 74, provide assistance to Sector T if necessary. Numbuh 89.8, dispatch the janitors. Numbuh 44, give Numbuh 86 clearance to decommission those teens if she hasn't already. And Numbuh 23, I'll see how busy I am this weekend." Virginia allowed herself a victorious snicker while Rachel shooed them all away. "The rest of you please take up your issues with your superiors - that are not me! I have enough to attend to as it is at the moment. Dismissed!"

With a collective grumble, the children slowly dispersed and journeyed back from whence they came. Rachel let out a sigh of relief as she continued on her path to her office, things were exceedingly hectic this afternoon. Operatives seemed to spring up like weeds with how every time she turned one down, a gazillion more appeared around the next corner. She was certain she had passed every kid stationed on the moonbase at least twice during her return trip from the bathroom.

Her open-door policy was really starting to bite her in the butt.

Rachel's face relaxed visibly as the door to her personal quarters came into view. As tedious as it was, dealing with various documents was far more quiet then a hundred screeching agents. She entered the room, removing her helmet and letting her blonde hair flow freely. However, when she became aware that she wasn't the only one in her room, her features filled something akin to amusement.

Over in the corner under her mission screen were two young agents laying lazily upon the floor. Their heads bobbed to and fro as the two girls giggled at the rainbow monkey program that played, and showed no signs that they even knew that Rachel was among them. She was tempted to leave them be, but she did have work to do.

"Ahem," she calmly uttered. The two girls gasped as Rachel shook her head. "Sorry cadets, but this is an office, not a lounge. I have work to do, and I'm sure you do as well."

"Aw, but the boys were hogging the TV. All they want to watch is stupid Yipper," the girls moaned. But not wanting to disrespect their Supreme Leader, the two exited the office without further fuss. After they departed, Rachel moved towards her desk.

"Now where is that remote?" she asked herself as she frittered through her desk clutter. Upon finally finding the device, she turned to the television screen. She grimaced a tad at the sight of the overly cute rainbow monkeys, and was all too prepared to shut off the feed. But at that moment, the program cut to commercial to rely a message she paused to hear.

"_And remember, fans of vast space and time, that today marks the release of the Doctor Time-Space and the Continuum Collector's DVD set: complete with seasons 1-11, deleted scenes, commentary, and the rare edition Phone Booth DVD case."_

"Wait, that was _today_?" Rachel snapped in the direction of her calender to see that, in fact, today's date was indeed heavily circled. She couldn't believe that the Doctor Time-Space Collector's DVD came out today and it completely slipped her mind! She looked back to the television, and a look of severe longing came over her as the commercial flashed scenes from her favorite closet obsession. She had to have those DVDs.

She _needed_ them.

"But I can't just leave, I'm too busy today," she lamented. With a heavy sigh, she aimed the remote at the screen. "Besides, I pre-ordered my copy months ago. It'll still be there by the time I – "

" – _and don't forget that for those of you who have proof of pre-order, you are eligible to participate in this one-time special event! This afternoon at the Hugiplex Shopping Center, you'll receive your Collector's DVD set along with a copy of the Doctor Time-Space adventure booklet; signed by the current Doctor, Mark Simmons himself!"_

"NO WAY!" Rachel let loose something akin to a fangirlish squeal as the news sunk in. Faster then ever thought possible, she was at her desk and proceeded to tear open her personal compartment. Without care, she tossed out useless junk and mementos as she searched feverishly for the object of her current one-minded desire. She then suddenly froze, then gave a cheer as she held up her prize for all to see. "Ah-ha! Found you!"

Clutched securely in her hands, was her pre-order receipt of the DVD set.

"And Harvey called me crazy for keeping you, but who's laughing now, my precious?" Rachel manically cackled as she held the ticket to her chest similar to how a mother would coddle her infant child. Grinning wildly, she pressed the call button connected to her intercom, and spoke in an almost sing-song voice. "Numbuh 9-2-5, cancel all my appointments for the afternoon. I'm cashing in my vacation hours and going on leave for the rest of the day!"

"_Oh, I'm afraid you can't do that, ma'am._"

"Can't? What do you mean I can't?" Rachel growled. "The world as all kids know it isn't ending right this second, even the Supreme Leader is allowed some time to herself!"

"_Not arguing with you, ma'am, but there's no room in your cramped schedule for any break time today._"

"I doubt it's _that_ tight, 9-2-5."

"_Uh-huh. Have you looked out your window lately?_"

Confused, Rachel turned away from her buzzer and slowly walked towards her window. The blinds concealed the outside world, and she was quite hesitant to see what exactly was out there. Frowning, she rolled her eyes and pulled down the blinds, only to take a step back when the view caught her off-guard.

Outside her window was a large mass of children, all of their mouths moving rapidly with something that they deemed worthy of her attention. She had never been more thankful for investing in soundproof glass. Upon seeing her, a random operative jumped and pressed himself against the window waving some flier as he slowly descended down the glass. Slightly unnerved, Rachel reached up and slowly brought the blinds to a close again. She then looked back towards her buzzer, and she swore she could feel Numbuh 9-2-5's smugness seeping over the line.

"…Nevermind, 9-2-5."

"_I knew you'd understand ma'am. Ta-ta!_"

Rachel childishly imitated the secretary before flopping down into her chair. She glanced to the lone ticket on her desk. Just sitting there. Taunting her. Her dream of getting anything signed by the Doctor now officially shot to heck. There had to some way she could get her hands on that merchandise, but fate's sole purpose today seemed to be to keep her stuck on the moonbase.

"It's a conspiracy, that's what it is," she pouted. Ashamed for acting in a manner unbefitting of a Supreme Leader, Rachel took a calming breath, and shrugged off the matter; deciding to, instead, make headway on the latest mission reports.

But one side glance to her pre-order ticket was all it took to send her spiraling into depression again. She didn't care if anyone saw her in this state and thought less of her, she deserved this _one_ moment of self-pity.

"I'm the one running this show up here, there has to be _something _I can do. But I can't just waste valuable resources in the pursuit of my own self-gain." She frowned on that line of thinking, but suddenly stroked her chin in contemplation. "Or…can I?"

Harsh knocks on her door in repeated concession jarred her from her musings. She grimly looked towards the entrance and groaned. She supposed it was only a matter of time before the tide of complaining agents stormed in. Resigning herself to her fate, Rachel sat straight and braced herself for an onslaught of questions, requests, and in some cases, demands. "Come in."

As expected, the door whooshed open. What she did not predict, however, was who rushed in afterwords.

"Outta my way losers, I was 'ere first! Get back-OW! NO PULLING!"

Rachel slowly lifted a brow as a familiar accented voice boomed throughout the small quarters of her office. Finally, Wally placed his foot solidly on the floor, and seemingly worked to drag himself in the room. His features were sheen with extreme amounts of agitation, and upon finally getting in, he was all to happy to slam the door on some poor operative's face. "Buncha rabid dogs, that's what they are!"

Rachel studied the haggard and annoyed Numbuh 4 who just so promptly threw himself in her office. It looked as if he fought off an army of Ice Cream Men just to make it this far, though with the size of the crowd just outside her door, she doubted the experience wasn't that different from what she imagined.

"Numbuh 4," she carefully greeted. The blond boy responded with a snort which she took as a sign of him acknowledging her. "What brings you here today?"

"Here," he huffed, tossing a sealed envelope in her direction. Before she could even ask, he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Numbuh 1 told me to make sure you got that. Man, I thought I'd get to do something cool, not be some mangy delivery-boy!"

Rachel's hand snapped up to swiftly catch the envelop and looked it over. She then glanced over towards Wally and was tempted to call him out on his rude behavior, but having more pressing thoughts on her mind, she dismissed it. "Thank you Numbuh 4, I'll be sure to look over it."

Wally's eyes flicked to Rachel when he picked up on her rueful tone. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," she said. But after thinking it over, she felt the sudden need to vent. "Well – "

"– Oh, 'cause I was wondering what could bother _you_," Wally interrupted. "You're the Supreme Leader; cool stuff must happen to you, like, every other second up here! That leaves guys like me bored and stuck with nuthin' ta do. I mean, you ain't got no idea what it's been like today! Thought I'd _finally_ get some excitement coming up here, but nooo! I almost get trampled by some whiners, just to deliver some stupid letter!"

"Oh woe is you, Numbuh 4," Rachel said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "It must be terrible. Being able to come and go from the moonbase as you please; not a care in the world, while I'm trapped here and missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime."

"I know! Right?"

At that moment, Rachel's head struck up a heated affair with her desk.

"Wait…" Wally said, now looking at Rachel with new found curiosity. "What was that part about a 'opportunity'? Oh! It's about some new top secret mission, isn't it?"

"No. It's not a – "

"C'mon, ya gotta tell me!" Wally exclaimed. His hands excitingly slammed down on Rachel's mahogany desk, causing her jerk back in surprise. "That's what that message is about, right? Right? It's some new, cool, extra doubly important mission! Ya hafta tell me what it's about! Just a hint? I won't tell nobody!"

"Enough! This has nothing to do with any KND affiliated mission," Rachel muttered. Her hand reached toward the envelop, intent on filing it away to read later. "It's just a…"

Her sentence trailed off as her eyes caught sight of her Doctor Time-Space pre-order ticket. She narrowed her eyes as she switched her gaze from the ticket, to Wally. The blond boy's face was radiating enthusiasm and he was practically bouncing on his heels at the chance to be a part of some classified mission he believed she was withholding. With that in mind, she recalled what she had said mere moments ago.

She desperately needed a signed autograph from the Doctor's actor. The _hows _didn't amount to anything as long as it was within her collection. But in her current position, she was in no shape or form to simply take off anywhere.

Wally, on the other hand…

"Hmm, you know what, Numbuh 4? I think it's time I branched out. Scout new potentials for all the high-end assignments. Dangerous feats of daring-do that would have normal run of the mill operatives crying to their mamas. But you're not one to shed tears, now are you, Numbuh 4?"

Wally scoffed. "You kidding? I popped this blister I found on my foot this morning, and didn't even sniffle. I can prove it! Here, lemme show ya – "

"That won't be necessary!" Rachel quickly shot down as Wally began tugging off his shoe. After breathing a sigh of relief, she plucked her pre-order ticket and rose from her seat. "But yes, I believe you're ready to handle this mission. And not just any mission, an ultra super top double – nay – triple secret mission."

"That is so awesome!" he gleefully exclaimed. Fully pumped, he began pulling random punches in the air while guessing the core aspects of his new mission. "What kind of mission is it? Oh oh oh! Is it a spy mission?"

"Wha? I mean, sure it is," Rachel replied offhandedly, saying anything to keep his attention. Making a show of shifting her eyes, she ushered him closer and spoke in a hushed tone of voice. "Listen very carefully. Your objective is to go to the Hugiplex Shopping Center between 1500 and 1900 hours. There, you'll meet our contact, Mark Simmons."

"Yeah, yeah," Wally nodded before tightening his fists. "Then I take him down, right?"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Rachel growled menacingly. She blinked, and hurriedly regained her composure. "I mean, no! He's our _contact,_ not target. Once you approach him, he'll greet you, to which you'll reply: 'I'm a huge fan, you are so epically amazing, and may I have my copy, please?'."

"That's a long code-phrase."

"Remember it. Once you've said that, give him this." She passed her pre-order ticket into his hand. "Then, he'll give you, The Package."

"The Package?"

"_The Package_," she said. "It is imperative that you bring The Package back to me. In mint condition. The entire safety of the Kids Next Door could very well rest on me getting it! Understand?"

"Gotcha," Wally agreed, stomping around giddily. "Man, this is just so COOL! I can't wait ta rub it in Numbuh 5's face when I tell her I got to go on a spy –"

"You are not to tell _anyone _about this. It's a _secret_ spy mission," Rachel interrupted, frowning. "Being a spy means going undercover. If anyone asks, I did not send you on this mission, and you are not there on official KND business. Got that?"

"Uh, yea. I guess so…" Wally mumbled, a tad disappointed. He was so looking forward to bragging about his awesome super-spy mission, but now that he thought about, he couldn't recall any KND spy talking about their missions. Crud. "I still get gadgets, right?"

"Uh, gadgets?"

"Yeah! All the cool spies get 'em! I want one of those fancy grappling hooks that looks like a hairdryer. Wait, nah, that's too girly. I know! A boxing glove that shoots missiles with every punch! No one would lay a finger on me then!"

"Er, I don't think I can give you anything like…" Rachel ventured meekly, but stopped upon seeing Wally huff and pout again. Not wanting him to lose focus on his task, she leaned over her desk and dug through her compartments again. "Wait, I think this will do!"

"Gimme!" he asked greedily, his hand out expectantly. Once the object was dropped into his palms, he frowned. "_KND Espionage for Dummies_?" he read the title allowed, not believing she handed him such a thing. "What kinda crud is this? I wanted a shiny spy gadget, not some dumb _book_."

"Looks can be deceiving. That 'dumb book' is a manual for all KND Espionage and Covert Tactics agents. Even I had to read it," she explained. When his disinterest still showed, she stuttered to think up some lame excuse for him to use it. "But, um, it's got hundreds of super neat spy techniques in it! How do you think I got so good at it?"

"Really? Huh. Imagine that," Wally said, looking over the book in a new light. He supposed adding a few more moves to his already amazing arsenal couldn't hurt in the long run. "Guess I could skim this thing over…even if it doesn't have any pictures in it…"

"Then hop to it, Numbuh 4! I have complete confidence in you! Go forth, and set a shining example. And not just for the elite, but for all Kids Next Door worldwide!" She motioned with a wave of her hand. She then pulled the boy close, and glared threateningly into his eyes. "And I trust that you know that failure is not an option. _Correct_?"

"Course I do," he nervously chuckled as he pried himself out of her grip. "I don't even know the meaning of the word failure! Er, I mean, I'm not an idiot! I know what failure _means_, but what I meant when I say I didn't know what means was that…uh, I kinda forgot where I was going with that…"

"The only place you need to worry about going is to that rendezvous point! On the double!"

Wally shook his head and threw a hasty salute as he walked off, flipping through his newly acquired book with a twinkle in his eyes. After he left, a sly smile graced Rachel lips as she tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"That takes care of that," she uttered pleased, dusting her hands off. Anticipation coiled deep within as she was a mere hour or so away from claiming her Doctor Time-Space collectibles. However, she glanced back to where Wally departed, a guilty expression marring her face. "It probably wasn't fair to get him so hyped up about it… Ah well. I'll give him a shiny new commendation and toss in a small award ceremony. They go bananas for that stuff."

"Heh heh, finally! Top detail like I deserve!" Wally fist-pumped as he strutted out the office. In his excitement, he started bobbing his head to some foreign beat. "Da na na na! Super spy mission! Na na na na! Undercover butt kickin'! Da na na – WHOA!" he yelped as he collided with someone. After shaking his head, he glared down at kid. "Watch where you're going, dork!"

"Well _excuse_ me!" Numbuh 65.3 grumbled as he stood straight. After readjusting his helmet, he crossed his arms and gave Wally a scolding frown. "According to Sub-Section E-Twenty-Niner-Nine, while on the moonbase, a Kids Next Door operative must always watch their step!"

"Bookworm," Wally scoffed before pushing past the boy. "Outta my way, loser. I got megaly important stuff to do!"

"Like what? Learn how to count past ten?"

"No!" Wally scowled, snapping back on Herbert. "For your information, geek, Numbuh 362 HERSELF has sent me on the most awesomely cool spy mission in the history of sneaky awesome spydom!"

"Is that so?" Herbert arched a brow, highly skeptic. "I was not aware there was something of that great importance to be dealt with."

"Well there is! I gotta go meet this guy to pick up…_The Package_," he intoned gravely, wiggling his fingers for dramatic effect. He then blinked, then cursed. "Crud! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that!"

"Relax, Numbuh 4," Herbert shrugged off. "I am bound by Zip-Yer-Lip protocol not to utter a word detail about a mission of that urgency. I won't tell a soul…even if you are a jerk."

"Really? Thanks!" Wally grinned, resuming on his way. "Remind me to knock a few points off your nerd rating when I get back."

"I'll keep that in mind," Herbert groaned. Once Wally disappeared around the corner, the plump boy made sure no one else was around before smiling wickedly and rubbing his hands together.

"A secret Package, eh? To entrust such a duty upon an utter buffoon is a stroke of brilliance! No one would ever suspect an incompetent such as Numbuh 4 to carry out such a delivery. We expected no less from the Supreme Leader," he mumbled to himself as he wandered off to left, walking into the shadows.

"Such a shame it will fail! For even the Best Spy of the KND can never anticipate our wit! Now, Numbuh 4's fate is sealed. For he stands no chance…" Herbert walked into the darkened corner, but what came out were two Asian twins, grinning devilishly. "Against the genius of the Interesting Twins–"

"–From Beneath the Mountain."

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><p><strong>Um, yeah. I have my limits with one-shot length, and this has turned out to be way larger then I expected, so I'm splitting it up. The last of it will be up by the end of the day, when I'm positive it's all tidied up. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Half an hour later planet side, the crowded streets of the inner city were bustling with activity. Frustrated office workers succumbing to rush hour traffic, joggers and athletics attempting to get their extreme work out during the heat of the day, and a short blond Aussie swiftly moving down the shadowy alleyways, a faint tune emerging from his lips.

His head peaked from behind a garbage can, and once the coast was clear, he ducked and rolled behind a pile of discarded boxes. Using one as a cover, he silently moved across the dank alley until he came adjacent of a dumpster. Kicking the box off, he ignored the smell, and surveyed around the corner. A clatter caught his attention, and on instinct, he grabbed a crushed soda can, and chucked towards the source of the disturbance.

A stray cat digging around for scraps was caught off guard when a can nearly nicked its head. It tensed, and gave a hiss in Wally's direction before scampering away. The blond boy only chuckled at his handy work.

"Heh heh, stupid cats. Nobody can get the drop on Secret Agent Numbuh 4." After that subtle ego stroke, the blond broke from the dumpster and exited the alley, tucking his hands in his pockets as he melded with the crowd passing by.

"Hugiplex…" he reminded himself as he studied the street signs. After recognizing a short cut, Wally dashed between an adult's legs and detached himself from the moving crowd. Ignoring the man's curse, Wally sprinted down the street and took the next corner, his goal almost within sight.

"Bet this place is crawling with dirty double agents, all wanting to get this Simmons guy and The Package," he said to himself, his fists itching for action. Adrenaline pumped through his veins at the thought of fighting a horde of rouge agents, the well being of his entire organization resting on his shoulders. Finally after crossing an intersection, he waltzed through the mall parking lot, and loosened his muscles as he neared the west entrance.

"I almost feel sorry for these losers. Doesn't matter what kind of training they have, I ain't about to get my butt handed to me by a buncha nerds…wait… NERDS?"

The boy halted mid-step, his face etched with hilarious confusion at the sight before him. One he was most definitely not expecting. Outside of the Hugiplex mall was not an army of double agents, rouge spies, or anything of the sort. No. What entered his vision was a seemingly never ending sea of nerds. Glasses wearing, braces licking, pocket protecting, sci-fi loving _nerds_.

They came in all shapes and sizes. Some grouped together discussing some new trading card game he bet was lame, others were having heated debates over shows he couldn't care less about, and they're were even cos-players. Geeks dressing up as their favorite character because they had no life otherwise. It was how he saw them. How he singled them out so he could stay _far_ away from them, the freaks.

So WHY were they here? The meeting point for his mission?

"This…this CAN'T be the right place!" he fretted, looking over the address Rachel gave him. "Is this for real? There's no way Numbuh 362 would send me here. No ultra-smooth spy would be caught dead at some _nerdfest_!"

He stomped the pavement before ducking out of sight. His mind worked double time to figure out this new conundrum. It made no logical sense. Why would Simmons want to meet here amongst all these drooling, snot-nosed geeks? What kind of spy was he?

Suddenly, it hit him.

"I get what's going on…he's using these nerds as cover!" he said, with a snap of his fingers. "Duh! He's a megaly cool spy-guy holding the top secret Package. There's probably like a kajillion guys after him, and they would never think to look for him here! It's the last place any cool person would be. Heh heh, I really am starting to think like a spy!"

He stepped out from behind the car he was hiding behind, and looked back towards the mall, his purpose clear again. But upon seeing all the nerds, he hesitated. Sure, the Simmons dude was waiting for him in there, but it was among nerds. Totally uncool nerds. Who knows how long it'll take him to find this guy, he could be here for hours. And if someone he knew happened to pass by and see him, then they'd get the wrong impression. They'd call _him_ a nerd, laugh at him, and he wasn't allowed to tell them he was on a mission.

His reputation would go down the drain faster then the Toiletnator's! He couldn't be seen with them. But how else was he supposed to get that package?

"Hold up." Remembering something, he dug around in the pouch of his orange hoodie and smiled when produced the book Rachel gave him. In need of advice, he began flipping through the pages. "There's gotta be something in here that can help me."

_KND Espionage for Dummies_

_Penned by, The 11th BLANK Numbuh: Former Head of KND Espionage and Covert Tactics_

_Chapter One: Detection Prevention, the Basics of 'Hide and no Seek'._

_Agents will sometimes be tasked with entering heavy enemy territory, comes with the territory. Now, if your first thought was to rush in, guns blazing and go Samuel Jackson on every poor fool you see, then you clearly have no comprehension of the word 'spy'. We would refer you to a dictionary, but for sake of time, we provided a quick footnote below **(1)**._

_Back to business. You want to get in there and complete your objective, but you can't just strut in there in wearing your Sunday best. That tends to end badly. So you ask yourself, "how am I supposed to walk in there without getting my brains bashed in like jello?". The solution is simple:_

_Wear a disguise._

_Study your enemies; take notes of their mannerisms, dress code, signature colors, even their accent if need be. Taking all these factors into consideration makes for an almost foolproof disguise. Once you've fully immersed yourself into their world and they're ready to call themselves your new BFF, stab them in the back like the cold-hearted jerk we know you are._

_**(1)** Spy: means you keep your mouth shut, Einstein._

"A disguise, that's it!" Wally exclaimed as he snapped the book shut. All he needed was to make himself look like a nerd so no one he knew would recognize him. Brilliant! Scanning his surroundings, he searched for a way to procure a proper outfit. He didn't have enough on him to buy all the requirements, but upon seeing a nearby nerd, he formulated an idea.

"Psst! Hey, four-eyes!" he motioned for a lone girl. The youth glared back at Wally, insulted. But when he continued to frantically wave, she sighed and walked over. When she began tapping her foot, he dug around in his pockets. "Listen, I need your nerd gear, so I'll give ya five bucks if ya take off yer clothes and – "

_SMACK!_

Wally blinked as his head turned from the force of the slap. He whipped around to tear into the girl, but she was already stomping away, fists clenched and mumbling obscenities he failed to hear. Grumbling, he rubbed at his stinging cheek. "What the heck was _that_ for? Crazy girls…"

Moving on, he looked for another nerd, more agitated. When he spotted a boy not too far from him, he simply wandered up behind him for a much more different approach this time.

"Nerd face," Wally said simply. He gripped the boy's arm, and started dragging him down an alley. "C'mere for a second, I gotta show ya something."

"W-Wait, please! I don't have any lunch money, just leave me alone!"

"Calm down, ya big baby," Wally groaned as he released the boy. Ignoring the nerd's trembling, he did a quick scan of the area to make sure they were alone. Satisfied, he dug out a crumpled five dollar bill from his pocket and shoved it into the confused boy's hands. "Here's five bucks."

"R-Really?" the nerd shyly asked. He inspected the bill, making sure it wasn't monopoly money or some trick. "Gee, thanks! But, uh, why are you giving me this?"

"So I don't feel so guilty about doin' this."

"Doing what?" the boy asked. When he looked up, all he saw before everything went black was a fist heading for his face.

Several minutes later, Wally emerged from the alley. Only now, he wore his 'disguise'. A plaid, Doctor Time-Space themed polo shirt with a checkered bow-tie adorning his neckline. His shirt was sloppily tucked into his pants, and the cuffs of his leggings stopped right above the heels; his puffy socks on display for all to see. He then flicked out the nerd's oversized glasses and put them on, blinking while his eyes adjusted to them.

"Just gotta fix this pocket protector, and…presto! I'm Numbuh Nerd!" Wally chuckled, pleased with his design. Once he heard groaning from the alley, he quickly walked away before someone found him near a unconscious, half-naked nerd.

While Wally waltzed confidently into the crowd of people, across the street on a bench was what appeared to be an old man reading a newspaper, the headlines concealing his upper body. After a moment, two sets of eye-holes were cut into the newspaper, two pairs of devious eyes following Wally's movements from their cover.

The first pair of eyes narrowed as they shifted towards the other pair. "His methods are unorthodox, but – "

"–Effective," a female voice finished. Her eyes then returned to the blond Aussie. "Stealing clothes from a commoner to formulate a disguise. Crude, but impressive for one with no former experience in such areas."

"Dear sister," the brother began, a skeptic sparkle in his eyes. "Does this location not seem odd to you? Why would they bother to make such an exchange at a science fiction convention?"

"Do not be so naïve, most honorable brother. No one would ever suspect such a trade-off at this public of an event. Hiding in plain sight; even Numbuh 4 was able to deduce _that_."

"Ah, forgive me, sister." His eyes returned to Wally, to which he could only glare. "It appears we have underestimated the logic – "

"–Our enemy possesses. But we are always a step ahead. For now, we shall lie in wait; monitor the buffoon as he unknowingly leads us to The Package. Then, when he least expects it, we shall serve him – "

"– A most humiliating defeat! Ah ha! Ha Ha Ha!" The newspaper suddenly encased itself around the Interesting Twins. A second later, two bodies sprung out from behind it, landing gracefully on the street. Now disguised as nerds themselves, the Twins shared a devious chuckle as they entered the mall parking lot, planning to divide and conquer.

Back with Wally, the blond walked with a confident strut into the heart of the parking lot, passing by nerds and them not giving him the time of day. Now to them, he wasn't anyone important. Just another guy. He walked right by them, and they didn't even flinch. They believed he was a fellow geek, the suckers. No one could connect this new outlandish look of his to Numbuh 4. They were two different kids now. His disguise was flawless and with it, he would accomplish his mission with flying colors.

"That's right losers, pay no attention to me at all. I'm one of you geeks, and definitely not the most coolest guy, Numbuh 4. I only wish I was HALF as awesome as he was," Wally snickered to himself. He was having way too much fun with this. Grinning, he neared the west entrance where the nerds were the thickest.

"With this look, I can jus' wait it out with these Time-Space dorks and keep my name clear! Gonna find this Simmons guy, then get out. And no one will recognize me, not even my own mum!"

"Hey, Numbuh 4!"

"Crud!" he cursed as he ducked behind a group of boys. His cover had been blown! No. No, he just had to calm down, and just stay hidden. The guy probably just had him confused with someone else –

"Over here, man!"

"Uh, er, I don't know who you are! You must have me confused with someone…" he began, but stopped when he looked ahead. The person within the flock of children stood out somehow. Raising up his glasses to see clearly, Wally saw the profile of the only plump nerd he could tolerate. "Numbuh 2?"

"Heya, Numbuh 4!" Hoagie greeted again, stepping out from the mass of nerds to wave. "How's it going?"

"Numbuh 2." This was confusing, he thought Numbuh 362 sent him here on a solo mission. Did she decide to send back-up or something? Well, that was kind of lame. No offense to Hoagie, but he just didn't seem 'spy' material like he was. He wasn't even wearing a disguise! "What are you doing 'ere?"

"Ha ha! What do you _think_ I'm doing here?" Hoagie laughed, as if it were obvious. "I should be asking you that question!"

Rolling his eyes, Wally forgot about his secrecy. "I'm here on a mission!"

"What?" Hoagie frowned. He cupped a hand over his ear in a better attempt to listen. "Sorry, you're gonna have to speak up! Kind of hard to hear you over everyone else up here!"

"I'm on a mission!"

"You got a what?"

"I'm on a MISSION!"

"Don't sweat it, buddy. I hear they got a cream for that nowadays!"

"NO! I'M. ON. _A_ – Gah! Forget it! I'm comin' to ya!" Frustrated, Wally threw his hands down and marched into the thick of the crowd, knocking aside all who was foolish enough to stand in his way.

Hoagie simply waited for his friend to catch up. He winced when he pushed several kids to the ground, but said nothing of it when the blond finally appeared at his side. "Nice of you to join me."

"What are ya doing here?" Wally slowly asked. Hoagie noted that his movements were noticeably shifty, like he was expecting something to jump him. "Numbuh 362 send ya?"

"Uh, what does she have to do with anything? We needed for some emergency?"

"No, we're…wait, so she _didn't _send you here?" Hoagie shook his head in negative, causing Wally to frown. "Then what are you doing hanging out with these nerds?"

"Ha! Like you don't already know! …Actually, _you_ probably wouldn't know," Hoagie muttered before waving it off. "Anyway, today is the release of the Doctor Time-Space Collector's DVD set! We're all here to get our copy along with the signed adventure booklet. It's like a dream come true!"

"So…it really is a nerdfest? Man, talk about la~me!"

"Pfft. Look who's talking," Hoagie scoffed. "Never took you for a closet fan."

"I am NOT a fan of this overrated, dork crud!"

"Why else would you be here?"

"I'm here on a – uh," he stuttered, remembering Rachel's orders. If Hoagie wasn't 'in the know' about his mission, then he couldn't disclose anything about it. "Um, I'm jus', er, hangin' out. Y'know?"

"Uh huh," Hoagie nodded with smug grin. He looked over Wally's apparel, and coughed to conceal his chuckle. "What's with the getup? Someone change the date for Halloween and not tell me?"

"I lost a bet, okay!" the blond grumbled, crossing his arms. Shaking his head, he looked up to Hoagie once more. "Listen I'm looking for – I mean, I heard a rumor that some guy named Mark Simmons was around here. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would ya?"

"Mark Simmons? You're _kidding_," Hoagie gawked before waving his arms around excitedly. "That's the only reason we all came here today! Everybody and their pet gerbil is waiting in line to see him!"

"Really?" Wally took another look around him. He noticed that these nerds were more organized, waiting in an order akin to single file. The boy stroked his chin as he contemplated this new information. "Must be waitin' til I get to him, but he's taking a major risk waiting out in the open like that…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nuthin'." Wally waved off. He then stepped closer to Hoagie, pushing his way in behind him. "Gimme some space 'ere!"

"H-Hey!" Hoagie yelped as Wally forced his way in. "What do you think you're doing!"

"Waiting in line with you," Wally stated as if it were obvious. "What's it look like?"

"Are you insane? You don't cut in line at a nerd convention!" He suddenly began to tremble, frantically looking around with a horror stricken expression. "They'll get _angry_…"

"Yea right. What are these losers gonna do?" Wally laughed. "Whine about me on their little internet blogs?"

"I'm not talking about them!"

"Then who are you – HEY!" Before he could grasp what was going on, he and Hoagie were suddenly yanked upwards by the back of their shirts. The husky pilot gulped while Wally continued to struggle. "What gives, ya stupid…oh." he squeaked out upon seeing the muscly security guard. "…Hi."

The man blankly stared at the blond boy. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Oh," Wally muttered, coming up with an excuse. Finally, he shrugged. "Just, uh, hanging around."

"Hanging around?"

"Hanging around."

"Cutting in line?"

"Cutting in line?"

"Are you?"

"No."

"Good, 'cause that'd be bad."

"How bad?"

"I'd have to send you to back of the line."

"That's bad."

"I know," the guard suddenly smirked. "That's why I'm gonna do it."

"WHAT?" Wally roared. He looked over his shoulder, and blanched at how long the line had become. It went on forever, maybe even past that! "Ya can't do that! I need to see Simmons, it'll take me HOURS 'fore I could get to him!"

"Should of thought of that before you cut in line, punk."

"I didn't cut in line!" Wally denied. He then smiled in Hoagie's direction, expecting support. "Tell him Numbuh 2! Tell him you let me get in line with ya!"

Hoagie paled when the security guard turned his eyes on him. He then broke out into a cold sweat. He knew the policy here, if he did indeed let Wally skip ahead in line behind him, then _both_ of them would get sent to the back. He saw his pal's expectant expression, waiting for him to pull him out of the fire. Then he looked towards the mall entrance. He had been here since the crack of dawn, and he was so _close_.

No sense in in both of them getting fried, right?

"Numbuh 2? What moon-speak are you goin' on about pal? My name's Hoagie."

Wally blinked. "…what?"

The guard analyzed Wally once more. "You saying you don't know this kid?"

"Who, this guy?" Hoagie asked motioning towards Wally. "Uh, nope. Nu uh. Never seen him before in my life."

"Hoagie, it's me! Numbuh 4!"

"Again with the codenumbers! Some people, eh?" Hoagie shrugged in the guard's direction. "Look buddy, my best pal is Wally Beatles, and he'd NEVER go out in public looking like you. No offense."

"_No offense_?" Wally growled. His struggles against the guard's hold increased ten-fold. "I'll show you an OFFENSE!"

"I've heard enough," the guard replied as he dropped Hoagie. He reaffirmed his grip on Wally, then drug him to the back of the line, angered nerds cheering as the line-cutter was taken away. "Come on, kid. Let's go."

"No! Ya don't get it! I'm here on business!" Wally exclaimed to no avail. "Numbuh 2, ya dirty rat! I'll get you for this!"

"Sorry, pal," Hoagie waved apologetically. "Every nerd for himself!"

"Ya better watch your back from now on, Numbuh 2! 'Cause if ya don't, then I'll be all over it like a bad rash!"

"Pipe down!" the guard groaned. Upon finally reaching the very tail-end of the line, the man dropped Wally and let him fall unceremoniously to the ground. "Now if I catch you cutting in line again, I'm banning you from ever going inside!"

"That's not fair!" Wally cried, but it fell on deaf ears as the man slowly walked back to his post. The blond clenched his fists, a low rumble emitting from his body which caused all around him to take a few cautious steps back. Feeling the urge to hit something, Wally ripped out the espionage book, and started tearing through pages to find something to quell his fury. "Gotta be something in here that'll show him. Yeah, something that'll make him wish he never…huh, what's this about?"

_Chapter Two: Patience is the ONLY Virtue _

_Don't believe what you see in movies. No matter how glamorous they make it, a spy's life is not filled with hot rod cars, explosions, celebrity meetings, babes, and more action then a Rambo flick, all the time. While that may be totally awesome, this is real life. And in real life, spies don't make things they don't like go boom at every given impulse. They stay vigilant, they stay silent. They stay in place until the perfect time to strike._

_In other words, they _wait.

_We know it gets boring, we know the forces of the universe can make it seem like time crawls slower then a sleepy snail, but you have to suck it up, and wait it out. There's a reason they picked you for this line of work other then, oh let's say, some thickheaded idiot who'd sooner punch out anything that breathes then attempt rational conversation._

_Well you're not like that (at least we hope not) and we know you'll do the right thing. If you ever find yourself in a position where you must wait for the proper conditions before continuing on, then hunker down, plot your approach, or heck, watch paint dry, because you might be there for a while. _

_If you also own a book that just so happens to cover the basics of espionage, you could totally pass the time by reading that. Just putting that one out there._

"Wait? That's the best this stupid thing can tell me?" Wally shouted, stuffing the small handbook harshly back into his pocket. He was half-tempted to forget being stealthy and just march his way in there to Simmons, no line or not!

But then he thought on his situation. The Supreme Leader had chosen him. Him, a guy who shoots firsts, ask questions never. 'Cause questions were for wussies. But she had put her faith in him, and if he went with the direct approach, his cover would be blown and the mission would be a bust.

"Great," he huffed, resigning himself to his fate. He peeked over the shoulder of the guy in front of him, and moaned childishly when he couldn't even see the entrance anymore. "What else can go wrong?"

"Hey, are you waiting here too?" Wally tensed, then slowly glanced behind him to see another nerd girl who just entered the line. The eyes behind her wide glasses were filled to the brim with excitement and she made no attempt to contain it. "I just can't wait! I've been a fan of Doctor Time-Space since like, forever! I have all the books, pens, t-shirts, cup-holders, and oh! You remember that contest they had two months ago were they gave out limited copies of blooper reels? Well, guess what lucky girl managed to get a copy!"

Wally covered his ears as the girl went on and on about her love for the sci-fi series. It was giving him a headache. He grit his teeth, snarling in her direction, but she didn't notice.

She just kept talking and talking and _talking._

"–My favorite episode would have to be from season three, it's such a classic! Remember the part where the Doctor's partner at the time rigged the capsule bomb to – oh no wait! That was from season _four. Duh!_"

Wally trembled with frustration when she failed to shut up. He felt his fist slowly rising, but forced it down, knowing it'd just get him into a world of trouble. Taking a deep breath, the boy faced away from the girl. Looking ahead with a scowl and hoping she'd get the hint soon.

"–this is my first time coming to an event like this. It's so exciting to be so involved with fellow Space-heads like you! I've even gotten into Time-Space fanfiction! Oh, I have just GOT to tell you about this new idea of mine! You see, it's in an alternate universe…"

Wally had turned towards the wall and began banging his head against, all going completely unnoticed by the fangirl.

This was going to be a while.

* * *

><p><strong>I've been slaving over this way longer then I thought I would. At least it was fun. XD<br>**

**One more split.**


	3. Chapter 3

"…then after they find the cure for the mutagen, they discover the virus has evolved too far ahead – "

"Shut up."

" –so they go back in time with the cure to try and stop the virus from spreading at all –"

"Shut up."

"–and then at the climax, they discover that by saturating the cure into the planet's atmosphere, THEY caused the virus to happen in the first place, causing a paradox!"

"Shut. _Up_," Wally groaned pathetically. He had been stuck in this slow moving line for almost two hours, with this annoying girl fully intending to bore him to death. Thanks to her endless prattle, he had learned many things he never wished to know about Doctor Time-Space. At all.

How much longer would this torture last?

"I'm thinking of ending it on a cliffhanger; leaves it open for a sequel, and I've already…" she trailed off as she glanced at Wally, who at this point, was slumped over with his hair in a complete mess with the amount of times his hands have weaved through it. "Oh gosh! Look me going on about myself. Sorry, I just get so excited and start to ramble. Bad habit! But what about you? What are you here for? Well, duh, you're here for Doctor Time-Space of course! But what I meant is, is there anything else you've got to do? Like say, pick up a –"

"Stop. Just…stop," Wally interrupted, looking up to the girl with haunted eyes. "Stop talking. Just stop talking for the next five minutes and give me a break! Keep your mouth shut and stop making words, because I can _not_ take it anymore!" he whimpered, holding his head away from the stunned girl.

For the next few seconds, silence. Just the sounds of the city and other nerds debating around him. But he could take that as long that girl didn't talk to him any longer.

"I just cannot believe the prices they had in there! It was practically a steal!"

"I thought I told you to stop…wait." His head shot up. That voice didn't come from behind him, it was a bit farther away. And it sounded familiar to boot. Confused, Wally looked around, but could not spot anyone he recognized in the line. Leaning out a bit, he glanced forward, and nearly tripped over at the sight of the two girls headed his way.

"Oh no, it's Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 5!" he whispered in horror. The two girls were indeed headed in his direction, having just exited from the mall themselves. Kuki was going on about something girly, he was certain of that, and Abby was flipping through a magazine, nodding every few seconds to show she was paying attention.

Fantastic. This mission just kept getting better and better, now didn't it?

"Oh man oh man oh _man_!" he started to panic. He looked down at his nerdish attire, suddenly feeling very exposed. "If Numbuh 2 could see through my disguise, those girls will spot me easy!" Abby would never let him live it down if she saw him like _this_. What the crud was going to do now?

"Hide! Gotta hide, now!" he frittered about, hands clenching and unclenching rapidly. He looked all about, but there was nowhere for him to hide in the line, and no way in heck was he going to the back again. He was far to close to have to go through that long of a wait again.

"R-Relax mate, they probably won't see ya. They'll probably wander off to the left, completely missing this line by a – oh crud, they're getting closer!" Abby and Kuki seemed to be moving directly opposite of the line now. It would be only a matter of time before they passed him and spotted him. "I am so busted!"

"Uh," the fangirl behind him questioned, "are you alright?"

"Not now!" he whined, pulling out the espionage book once more. He quickly skipped every chapter until he came across something that would help him get out of this situation. "Come on, invisibility, ninja tricks, magic – give me something! Ah ha!" he proclaimed triumphantly as he reached a certain page.

_Chapter Eight: The Best Hiding Place to Know is Right Under Their Nose._

_When there's no air ducts, ventilation shafts, bathrooms, or trash cans nearby to hang out in, remember that hiding in plain sight is sometimes the easiest option. Your enemies can waste endless amounts of time searching in the most obscure places while you're escaping huddled in the crowd, passing them by. This is another area where a disguise comes in handy, for you can simply blend in with the enemy; right among them as they search for the rat, namely you. That sort of thing makes for a great giggle before you knock them out and skimp away scott free._

"Aggrh! That ain't helping," Wally growled as he skipped ahead a few pages.

– _but sometimes your disguise might not be enough. Your enemy may have picked up a key detail of your facial patterns and just lumping in with random mooks won't cut it anymore. Should you find yourself in this situation, our best advice is to avoid all patrols, and carefully relocate to a more secure location until the heat dies down._

"No no no..." Wally moaned, the book not helping him out at all. He glanced up from the pages, saw Abby and Kuki incoming, then frantically skimmed the paragraphs some more. "Come on, there's gotta be something else! I'll take anything. ANYTHING!"

_There is, however, one more technique that may help you._

"That's the ticket!"

_But it's highly controversial, some even consider it a joke. It also seems a bit too 'teen-ish' by KND standards. But we here at Espionage and Covert Tactics were assigned to give any and all information that may help the starting field agent – you – so we suppose if someone finds this helpful, then we've done our job._

"Get to the point!"

_Drastic times call for drastic measures, and should the time get drastic enough, we suggest the drastic measure of the Fake-out Make-out._

"…what?"

_Now if you're not going "EWW GROSS" or "I'LL GET COOTIES" you're off to a fantastic start. Hear us out! You don't want them to see your face, right? So why not hide it in another face? Makes sense, doesn't it? We would never suggest this to normal operatives, but you're not a normal operative, are you? You're a stealth tactical officer. You know sacrifices have to be made. So suck up that pride, grab the nearest willing participant, and pucker up. _

_It'll work, trust us. Well, we're pretty sure it'll work, it did in that one cartoon we got the idea from… _

_Tell you what, if you're brave/bold/daring/dumb enough to try it and succeed, let us know. We're still gathering intell to see if this is a creditable tactic or not._

Wally felt the sickening urge to vomit as he slammed the handbook shut. After gagging for a few seconds, he glared at the object as if it were crazy. "Those idiots have lost it! Fake-out make-out my rear! There is no, _flippin'_, _WAY_ I'm kissing a GIRL! Nope! Don't care! Let 'em see me! There's is no way I'm doing THAT! Nu uh!"

"Hey, who's that boy over there?"

Wally froze as he heard Kuki call out. He peeked out the side to see the curious girls heading straight for him. He hesitantly glanced back to the nerd girl behind him, and felt his face turn a shade of green. "Awww…_CRUD!_"

"What?" the girl asked, having no idea why Wally was approaching her. "Have I got something on my – MMPH!"

_'Go to your happy place!'_ Wally thought to himself as he squinted his eyes shut. _'GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE!'_

"What boy?" Abby asked as Kuki led her closer to the long line of nerd. When the raven haired child stopped and stood on her tip-toes, Abby lifted the rim of her cap to go over the crowd. "I don't see anybody we know, girl."

"I dunno…" Kuki trailed off with a pout as she tapped her chin. "I could of sworn I saw Numbuh…HIYA!"

"OW!" Abby yelped. Kuki had suddenly snapped out, and punched her in the arm. She held her sore forearm, not wondering what surprised her more: the fact Kuki had just punched her or that it stung as much as it did. "Numbuh 3, what the _heck_ was dat for!"

"I-I'm sooo sorry, Numbuh 5! I don't know what came over me!" Kuki fretted. She just felt so angry all of the sudden and felt the urge to bring pain onto somebody. "I think the heat must be getting to…aw, how cute!"

Abby arched a brow and faced towards what Kuki was pointing at. "What is it now…_uggh_!" Abby flinched back, revolted at the sight she was baring witness to. Two Doctor Time-Space nerds smacking lips. "Man, that ain't right!"

"I think it's adorable!"

"That ain't the first word that came to mind," Abby stated uneasily. Not able to take anymore, she lowered her hat over her eyes and dragged Kuki away. "Come on, let's get out of here before Numbuh 5 revisits her lunch."

After a few slow, agonizing seconds, one of Wally's eyes peeked open to see if the girls were still there. Once he saw they were gone and out of sight, he violently ripped away from the nerd girl and spat comically at the ground. "GROSS!"

The nerd girl just stood there with stunned, wide eyes and glasses slipping down her face. "You just kissed me…"

"Don't remin - HACK! HACK! Pa-toowie!" he coughed until he felt something fall into his hand. Disgusted, he held up the slimy object that he spat out. "What the heck is this thing?"

The girl slowly reached her hand out and looked it over, her blank fascade never breaking. "You took my retainer right out of my mouth."

Wally slowly stood straight as he processed that bit of data. He calmly turned to the boy in front of him, and ripped away the bag he was holding.

"Hey!" the geek cried as Wally swiped his lunch bag. "That's my – "

"BLEGH!" the blond vomited into the bag. The nerd stood petrified as Wally emptied the contents of his stomach. After a series of dry heaves, Wally wiped off his mouth with the length of his arm and passed the bag back to the nerd. "Here."

"Gee, _thanks_," the boy dryly uttered. He held the bag away from his person and could only sigh. "At least it was just tuna."

"Dressing up as a nerd, and making out with one. After this is over, I'll do Numbuh 86 a favor and decommission _myself_. Stupid spy work, making me lose myself to my new identity. I don't even know who I am anymore…" he mourned. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and slowly glanced back towards the nerd girl. "What now?"

The girl was silent for a long minute before she posed her question. "Can we do that again?"

"…Sure," Wally answered. He stepped to the side, and motioned ahead. "First get right in front of me, I insist."

The girl grinned excitedly as she skipped ahead. Once in front of the blond, she looked at him with a glazed over look. "Now, where were – "

"HEY!" Wally suddenly shouted, waving his hands and pointing at the girl. "SHE CUT IN FRONT OF ME IN LINE!"

"W-What?" the girl gasped, snapping out her daze. A large hand clamped around her shoulder, and she looked up to see a security guard dragging her towards the back of the line. "N-No, wait! You don't understand!"

Wally watched stoically as the girl was taken all the way to the back, far away from him. Once he was gone, he turned to wait out the rest of the line while hugging his arms to himself. "That didn't just happen, that didn't just happen, that didn't just happen…"

Near the back of the line, a lone boy stood out from the rest. Sure, he looked like a nerd, but he carried himself differently. His eyes ever vigilant, hands tucked behind his back. He was waiting for something. When he caught sight of a security guard depositing a girl at the back of the line, he moved towards her as the guard returned to his duty.

"You have returned, dear sister," one half of the Interesting Twins greeted his sibling as he approached her. When he noticed her blank stare and flustered cheeks, he appeared confused. "Sister?"

"W-What?" she stuttered, remembering where she was. "Nothing happened!"

"Uh," the boy blinked, more bewildered then ever. "Were you able to extract any more information from the buffoon as we planned?"

"Huh? I-I mean, yes. I was partially…successful," she shook her head, trying to regain focus. "My attempts to crack his demeanor were in vain. His thickheadedness is far more durable then I anticipated. I failed to uncover the properties of The Package. But he continues to stay with this formation, his goal is within this building."

"As we suspected," the boy uttered as he darkly grinned. "No matter, dear sister. We shall wait until the time is right. When the moment draws near, we shall leap like the mantis, strike our foe and – "

"–Kiss him," she bluntly stated. Once her words caught up with her, she blushed. "DESTORY HIM! That is what I said!"

"Sister? Are you feeling – "

"Why do you hound me with these useless questions? Do they help our effort at all?" she snapped. "Think, foolish brother! All the time you spend acting like an imbecile could be spent completing our mission! Pull yourself together!"

"B-But I was just…and you just seemed…uh," he trailed off. Finally, he sighed and lowered his head in submission. "Y-Yes, dear sister. Forgive me."

"Good!" she nodded. She then grabbed his arm, and dragged him away. "We must prepare!"

The next span of minutes was only a period of waiting for Wally, and considering what he had just endured, he would take that as a break. No wonder spies were so uptight and serious if this was the kind of stuff they had to go through everyday. Although he had to admit, painstakingly admit, that this was a memorable first outing in his shining new stealth career. Months later when he would be sneaking into some adult's secret lair to blow up a doomsday weapon, he would look back on this mission and laugh.

Except for the kissing part. He was still working on repressing that particular memory.

But none of that stuff mattered now. Oh no, what was important now was the fact all his hard work, sacrifices, and all other blows his pride had to take within the last few hours would finally be worth it. After spending a few more minutes under the afternoon sun, the line had finally picked up in pace. Within a couple of minutes, he found himself inside the mall's lobby, velvet ropes now stationed to keep the line in order inside. The smell of the food court wafted through, but he was able to resist such temptation in order to follow through with his assignment. His determination would pay off, however, for now he was only two nerds away from meeting his contact.

"Come on, come on," Wally snipped impatiently as another nerd walked up, going to meet the guy he'd been here all day for. After a minute, the guy in front of him went up, and Wally almost followed him. But the guard snapped the rope down before he could pass it. The blond could only groan and lean against the rope for support. "This is taking for-_ever_!"

"Next."

"Alright! That's me!" Wally cheered as the adult lifted the rope. Without further ado, he sprinted towards the table that had been so highly decorated. Tremendous amounts of love and effort had went into the Doctor Time-Space table, assorted with vast classic items, logos, and other fair any fan would greatly appreciate.

But the effect was lost on Wally. As soon as he reached the table, he slammed his fists down, and gazed up admiringly at the adult seated in front of him. "Mark Simmons?"

"Guilty as charged," the man spoke in a regal tone of voice. He sat in a straight, and respectful manner as he mildly sipped on a cup of tea, the cup brushing against his cleanly shaven mustache. His attire consisted of gentleman's wear, a gray scarf, monocle, and a top hat. Wally found his choice in clothing rather weird, but quickly surmised that it must have been his disguise.

"So you're the guy," Wally responded as he took the 'agent' in. "Man, you would not believe the crud I had to go through to meet with ya!"

"Terribly sorry for the wait," Simmons smoothly apologized as he placed his cup down. He then folded his hands together and looked down at Wally with a friendly sort of look. "So what I can I do for you, dear boy? A quotation, limerick, photo? You'll find I have all the time in the world."

"Huh?… Oh! I get'cha," Wally nodded. That last bit must have been Simmons' code-phrase. All he had to do was say his, and he was in the clear. "'I'm a huge fan and …um, huge fan and…oh man! I forgot the rest of it!"

"It's no problem, chap," Simmons calmly waved off with a smile. "No need to be nervous. I'm just like any old – "

"No no no, I can remember this! Just gimme a second," Wally pleaded as he rattled his brain for the code-phrase Rachel gave him. "I'm a huge fan, you are a smelly possum and…no, that doesn't sound right. I'm huge fan, you are so big and boss and…agrh, no! I am NOT failing this mission jus' 'cause I can't remember that stupid code-phrase!"

Mark Simmons slowly rose a brow as the boy went on before him. Silently leaning back, he shifted his eyes to the security guard. "Is this a new fan thing I'm not aware of?"

The guard shrugged. "Who knows what these kids come up with these days."

"Ugh, look," Wally leaned on the table, trying to be level with the adult. "This is my first time out, okay? I'm not good at all this secret-y, sneaky, smart-worded spy stuff yet." He then reached into his pocket, and presented the small ticket Rachel had given him. "I forgot the code-phrase, I'm sorry. But trust me, I'm your guy! Really! Ain't this thing proof enough? So let's say ya do me a solid, take this thing, and just give me The Package, eh? Eh?"

Simmons blinked. "…The Package?"

"Yeah," Wally said, his words becoming more clipped. "The whole reason I'm here?"

"… Yes, of course. The Package," the man repeated slowly, assuming Wally was only talking about the DVD set and his signed booklet. He took the pre-order ticket from the blond's hand, inspected it, but did a double take when he read over the information. "Your name is _Rachel McKenzie_?"

"Keep it down, ya idiot!" Wally hissed as he intoned for the man to whisper. What was this guy doing, trying to blow their cover? "Yea, yea, she sent me to pick The Package up. Now hurry up, the walls have eyes!"

"I see…" He really didn't, but played along anyway. He reached under the table, only to frown when he noticed they were out of DVD sets. After leaning back and sharing a quick word with the security guard, he rose from his chair. "Sorry lad, it appears we're out of stock. Wait here for a moment whilst I fetch the, er, Package, from the back."

"Really?" Great, he had to wait some _more_? If this was all that spies did all day, he was starting to reconsider changing his specialty. After rolling his eyes, he crossed his arm and opted to wait it out one last time. "_Fine_."

As Simmons and the security guard left for the storage room and Wally impatiently tapped his foot in front of the table, a few meters away, a rather large potted plant seemed to be inching closer and closer towards the blond boy. After stopping at a safe distance, the plant rose from the pot, revealing the faces of the Interesting Twins.

"Fortune shines down upon us today, dear sister!" the boy exclaimed as he spotted Wally, all alone now. "The foolish Numbuh 4 has already greeted his contact, and they are retrieving the fabled Package as we speak! Now all we must do is strike down that – "

"–Handsome devil."

"–And…what –"

"BUFFOON! I said buffoon!" the girl yelped as the tiniest of flusters overcame her. Shadowing her embarrassment, she snarled and slapped her brother upside the head. "Now is not the time to put words in my mouth, foolish brother! Now is the time to instill fear into the heart of our enemy…one I most definitely did not kiss in line! They are all lies, lies I say!"

"O-Of course, sister of questionable sanity," the boy stuttered, wondering what his sibling was going on about. "As I was saying, now all we must do is strike down that buffoon while he is unaware, and simply take his place and take the Package right from the contact's hands! Today, we shall finally achieve – "

"–Our vengeance upon the foolish Kids Next Door!" They crackled. As they waited for Wally to turn his back so they could take him by storm, the girl hesitated when she noticed someone marching up to the blond from the side. "Wait, who is that?"

"I am not certain. An unknown third party, perhaps?" her brother observed as a rather bulky looking teenager approaching Wally from behind. "A minor, unexpected setback. We shall wait and see how this new development unfolds."

"You know, this mission is really weird when I really think about it," Wally mused to himself as he waited. "I get sent to this nerdfest, hafta hang around with these Doctor Time-Space losers, and then Hoagie says they're all here to see Simmons, the guy I'm supposed to be seeing? Could this be some fake mission made up by Numbuh 362 jus' to make sure I pick up her cruddy Doctor Time-Space fan stuff?" After a moment, he suddenly burst out laughing. "Ha ha ha, ah man! Fake mission, that's a good one. Don't know _what_ I was thinkin' there!"

As he chuckled to himself, Wally failed to notice how the area darkened as a shadow loomed over him. "Heh heh, wonder what's takin' Simmons so long, I've already been waiting here all day!"

"Ha! I always knew you were a nerd, loser!"

"Say that to my face you…" Wally paused when he turned around and looked up. Before him was a burly teenager wearing an open leather vest, torn t-shirt underneath. The commissioner's hat and lollipop wedged between his lips made Wally growl as he called the teen out. "Well if ain't my old pal, Ernie."

"That's Ernest, ya little shrimp!" Ernest growled. The boy suckled on his apple-flavored lollipop before pulling it with a loud 'plop'. He twirled the stick between his fingers while pacing around Wally. "Heck, shrimp is the least insulting thing I can call ya now. No wonder you always wussed out in big time bully work, all this time you were a dork pretending to be all tough. Ha! This is too rich!"

"I'm NOT a nerd!" Wally shouted, and also wondered why he was still wearing his disguise. It really hadn't fooled anyone he wanted to be duped. "I'm here on top secret business that'd make your puny brain explode trying to understand it all."

"Doesn't look like there's much to understand. All I see is a little, stupid, Time-Space loser wanting to make his little fantasy come true," Ernest followed up this statement by roughly shoving Wally back, causing the boy to stumble. "Face it, Beatles, you're just geeky little nerd in denial!"

Wally growled as he stepped up into Ernest's face. "Call me a nerd one more time, and you're gonna wish ya never ticked me off."

"What'cha gonna do about it," the bully smirked, "_nerd_?"

"Guess I'm gonna have to bash your face in, _Ernie_."

"It's ERNEST! That's it!" the bully proclaimed as he cracked his knuckles. "I just got done with some swirly contracts, and it looks like my bonus for today is teaching a little Time-Space fanboy a lesson in the art of atomic wedgies!"

"Bring it!" Wally spat back. Without warning, the blond roared as he launched himself at the bully. Surprised, Ernest fell backwards, and the two tumbled away, kicking and screaming at each other all the while.

The Interesting Twins watched the brawl break out, their faces filled with utter delight. "What a most glorious turn of events! The two fools will keep each other distracted – "

"–While we swoop in and claim victory, them being completely none the wiser!" The sister shared a look with her sibling and grinned. "Shall we, most honorable brother?"

"Indeed we shall, dear sister."

"Gah!" Ernest cried as Wally buried his fist in his gut. The bully hunched over, holding his mid-section. He then caught sight of Wally bringing up his leg. The teenager quickly side-stepped to the left, avoiding Wally's leg-sweep. While the blond was trying to recover, Ernest simply raised his foot up, and booted the blond away. "Take that!"

Wally groaned as he hit the floor, the nerd glasses he was wearing being knocked off his face. But that was fine, they made it harder to see, and they weren't even his anyway. But before he could stand back up, Ernest grabbed him by the collar, and lifted the boy up into the air.

_'Aw crud,'_ Wally grimaced when he noticed that look in Ernest's eyes. _'This is the part where he socks me in the face.'_

"And now," Ernest started as he slowly cocked his fist back. "This is the part where I sock you in the face!"

Slightly panicked, Wally absentmindedly reached into his pocket to produce the espionage book, flipping to the next chapter for some sort of advice.

_Chapter Nine: The Part Where He Socks You in the Face_

_Firstly, if you are actually reading this when you are in danger of being nailed in the jaw, we feel the need to commend you on your ability to multitask. See? We tried REALLY hard not to subtly call you an idiot that time._

_But yes. Sometimes agents will find themselves on the receiving end of the beatdown. Ouch. But not to worry, we at KND Covert Tactics have developed a way to avoid such injury with a 100% success rate. Seriously, this is groundbreaking stuff here._

_You reading this? Good. Cause this is gonna BLOW your mind. When you are about to get nailed in the face, _

_Always_

_Remember_

_To_

_**DODGE!**_

"DODGE?" Wally yelled. "You're kidding me? I didn't need some smart aleck to tell me to – "

_BAP!_

Wally went flying backwards, crashing into a table within the food court. The child groaned as he tended to his bruised cheek, then yelped as his espionage book landed on his face. Squinting, he made out the sentence before his eyes. "If you forgot to dodge, refer to chapter fifteen." Curious, the Aussie opened the booklet and flipped to the recommended page.

_Chapter Fifteen: So You Forgot to Dodge._

_Wow._

Wally snarled as he tossed the book away. "I hate that book."

"You actually read one?"

"Wanna run that by me again…Numbuh 2," Wally replied once he recognized his plump friend. He frowned as he remembered what happened earlier. "Why are you still here?"

"After I got my copy of the DVD set, I stayed behind to grab some lunch before getting back to the treehouse," Hoagie explained, holding up a glossy looking box-set with the Doctor Time-Space logo carved into the cover. The pilot then winced as he recalled how he turned his back on Wally outside. "Listen buddy, I'm sorry about what happened out there, real jerk move. But I got'cha some nachos to make up for it!" _  
><em>

"No time!" Wally grunted as he kicked himself up. "Busy!"

"Busy? With wh-AAAA!" Hoagie squealed as his voice went up an octave or two. Reason being that Ernest had came up from behind and decided to make him suffer one of his name-brand wedgies. Hoagie's goggles welled up as his voice came out pained and forced. "Hello…Ernie…"

"_Ernest_," was all the bully said. In one fluid motion, the teenager threw Hoagie off to the side, the operative wailing as he soared through the air with his butt cramped. "Now, you're next."

"Hey!" Wally snapped as he raised his fists. "No one tosses around my mates, 'cept me!"

From where he landed, Hoagie groaned. "My hero…"

"I've had with you, Beatles!" Ernest snarled as he stomped towards the blond. "You've had this coming for a long…time?" he halted mid-stride as something off to the left grabbed his attention. "What the heck? There's two of you?"

"What're ya staring at?" Wally snipped as he tried to find what had the bully so perplexed. "I thought we was gonna…_what_?"

The sight the two couldn't look away from was over at the Doctor Time-Space table. Mark Simmons had returned from the storage room, and was handing over a box to the child in front of him. But the child was…Wally?

"At last," the fake Wally chortled as he raised the box into the air. "Victory!"

Ernest looked back in front of him to see Wally just as confused as he was. "What's going on here?"

"I don't know," Wally muttered, glaring over at the imposter. It must have been a double agent in disguise, and now he had The Package. Switching his priorities, the blond looked back to Ernest, and shrugged. "I'll kick your butt later." Before the bully could respond, Wally threw a quick sucker punch that knocked the teenager down. That taken care of, he ran to intercept the imposter as he tried to leave.

"Stop right there!" Wally called out. His imposter stopped, and looked back towards him, amused. It annoyed the blond to no end. "Who do you think you are, that's not your package!"

"But it is now!" The fake Wally retorted, cradling the box to his chest. "The most intimate secrets of the Kids Next Door within our grasp, oh, the power we now hold within our fingertips! With this package, we now are able to bring your pathetic organization to its knees!"

"Not if I got something to say about it!" Wally yelled as he charged at his double. The fake Wally only mocked him.

"Remember this day, Numbuh 4. Remember the hour you realized that you stood no chance against the Interesting Twins," The moment Wally got within an inch of his double, the person seemingly split into two people, and leapt to either side of him. The blond collided only with a discarded disguise, and then sneered at the two Twins on both of his sides. "From Beneath the Mountain!"

"You dorks!" Wally realized as he switched his gaze back between them. When he realized the male Twin was holding the package, he honed in on him. "You stole the package!"

"It was destined to be ours from the start," the boy blankly smiled as Wally approached him. When he got too close, the Twin chucked it over his head to his sister. "You just – "

"–Never realized it," she finished as she caught the box. Wally changed his sights on her, and as her brother did before, she tossed the box over the operative's head, back to her brother. "All this time we never left your shadow, and yet always remained one step ahead! And now thanks to your utter incompetence – "

Her brother caught the package and only threw it back when Wally approached him. "The Package –"

"–Is –"

"–OURS!" they exclaimed in unison, now toying with Wally with a twisted game of monkey-in-the-middle. "Ah ha! Ha Ha Ha!"

"Argggh!" Wally seethed. Tired of being made a fool out of, he waited for the Twin sister to catch the package again so he could make his move. When she swung her arm back to throw it again, he stopped in place, then jumped straight up as she tossed it. He raised his hands up, and caught the box with a grin. "Yes!"

"No!" the Twins shouted. They both then jumped in the air to intercept Wally, but the blond only brought both his legs up for his feet to meet their faces. The Twins fell to the ground in a tumble, and Wally only took off running.

Getting back to their feet, the two shared a nod before the Twin brother took off after Wally. The girl reached into her pouch, producing a bolo rope and swung it around. Once she had a clear shot, she tossed the rope towards Wally.

Grinning, Wally continued for the exit so he could get back to the moonbase. However, his sprint was cut short when a rope came up from behind and tied itself around his heels. The bolo rope tightened his legs together, and the blond tripped over, dropping the package. He then yelped when the Twin brother stepped over him and went to pick up the box. Growling, Wally used his hands to quickly drag himself across the floor.

The Twin brother chuckled as the package was in sight, but something latched around his ankle, and brought him down to the floor. He looked back to see Wally gripping his foot, not intent on letting him go. The blond then peered over his shoulder to see the Twin's sister coming up on him. Thinking quickly, he threw the male Twin into his sister, then continued towards the package in a hurried crawl.

"Finally!" he cheered. He paused a moment to kick the rope off his ankles, then reached for the box. "Come to papa!"

"No you don't!" the Twins screamed as they suddenly pounced on Wally. The three fell into a tangled heap on the floor, three hands reaching for the package, but each failing to grab it due to the struggles of opposition. "It is ours!"

"No it ain't, it's mine!"

"Ours!"

"Mine!"

"Ours!"

"Shut it!" a fourth voice suddenly yelled.

Before the three could even confirm the source, a large hand descended down and clutched all of their hands in one grip. Without warning, Wally and the Twins were lifted into the air, staring down a furious Ernest.

"I don't care what belongs to who!" the bully snarled. "All three of you losers are gonna get what's coming to ya!"

The three children shared a look at his words. Finally, the Twin brother studied Ernest. "It appears the greater enemy – "

The Twin sister shifted her eyes to Wally. "–Of our lesser enemy – "

Wally nodded, catching the hint. "–Is going down!" The three children swung back, then came forward, violently kicking out of Ernest's grasp.

"DOH!" the bully coughed as he stumbled back. The Twins somersaulted away while Wally ran up to grab Ernest's arm. Using all of his strength, the blond heaved as he spun the large teen around, waiting until he picked up enough momentum. Once he saw the Twins were in position, Wally grunted as he tossed the bully their way.

The Interesting Twins watched as Ernest flew closer and closer. After breathing in a calming breath and closing their eyes, the two siblings moved in complete sync as they slid their feet back. Suddenly, their eyes snapped open, and they went into a combined roundhouse kick to send Ernest down once and for all.

Wally chuckled as he watched the bully go down and not get back up this time around. Dusting his hands off, he walked over to his discarded package and bent over to pick it up. "Whelp, that takes care of that – GAH!" he yelped as he was suddenly kicked away himself.

"Indeed," the Interesting Twins chuckled as they picked up the Package, thrilled that it was in their hands once again. When they saw Wally shaking off their attack, the Twin sister prepared a smoke bomb to make their grand escape. "Farewell, foolish Kids Next Door. With our mission complete, soon you will know the true extent of our – "

"JUDO PUSH!"

"WHOA!" the Twins yelped as someone suddenly knocked them over. Behind them, Hoagie lowered his hands and laughed.

"Forgive me for being so 'behind'. Ha ha ha! See, I was like, coming up behind you so – oh forget it! Not important!" he waved off as his look became slightly nervous. He quickly scanned the area, pulled a Doctor Time-Space booklet out of his pocket, and quickly snatched Wally's package from them.

"Kinda in a hurry guys, and I need this. Tell ya what, I'll take this, you take that," he hastily replied as he threw the booklet over their bodies. "Fair trade? Great! Gotta go!"

"Ugh," Wally groaned as he stood. He was then shaken when Hoagie suddenly rushed up to him, bouncing on his heels as if they were on fire. "Numbuh 2? What's – "

"No time!" Hoagie interrupted, looking frightened for some reason. "We gotta go, like, NOW!"

"What's the rush?" Wally asked as he looked over to the Twins. "I still owe these losers a butt whooping! And why did ya toss that book thingy?"

"It's a Doctor Time-Space booklet I stole from a group of nerds nearby!"

"What difference does that…w-wait. You _stole _that from _nerds_?" Wally gulped. "Doesn't that mean – "

"Yep!" Done waiting, Hoagie suddenly took off, hoping Wally would pick up the hint and follow. "That's why we gotta leave!"

Wally faced the other direction, and paled at what he saw slowly approaching. Without a second thought, he performed an about-face and trailed after Hoagie out the exit. "Wait for me!"

"That…JERK!" the Twin sister raged as she shot off. "That is right! Run from us, cowards! You will rue the day you dishonored us this shamefully!"

The Twin brother shook his head as he picked up what Hoagie tossed at them. After flipping it over, he arched a brow. "Why would he leave us with this?" Suddenly, he paused as a certain groaning sound came up from behind them. "What is that noise?"

"I do not know," the sister growled. She then whipped around, intent of chewing out whomever dared sneak up them now. "Whoever you are, you will – "

"_Uhhhhhhh_…"

The Interesting Twins looked on with pure horror etched into their faces at the mass that slowly crept up on them. They stood petrified with fear as the horde slumped forward. The stench of decayed skin filling the air, the blank soulless eyes behind cracked glasses. The legion moved as one, drool oozing from their gaping jaws as they lurched on with only one purpose in mind. When the Twins were finally able to form coherent thought, it was already far too late.

"N-Nerd – "

"– ZOMBIES!" They turned to run, but some had already latched on to their legs. The Twins could only struggle and scream as they were seemingly swallowed into the ever growing sea of nerd zombies. "AAAAHHHH!"

"Oh dear, not again," Mark Simmons sighed as he lowered his tea-cup. He looked ahead with a rather bored look as nerd zombies started roaming around creating chaos. "Just once, I'd like to have fun in a world where its inhabitants weren't prone to turning into undead abominations because some poor sap triggered their hoarding-troll genes."

When a stray group started lurching closer to his table, he decided it was time to depart. The man simply reached under his chair and pulled out an umbrella. After opening it with a click, he lifted it towards the air and floated away just as a zombie reached for his leg. "Cheerio!"

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading guys! Epilogue ahead.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

"Man, talk about insane!" Wally said as he and Hoagie walked down one of hundreds of corridors on the moonbase. The blond then grinned as he held up his package victoriously. "But I pulled it off! Passed my first super secret spy mission with flying colors!"

"Yeah," Hoagie uttered apprehensively. "Sure…"

After leaving the Interesting Twins with undead nerd zombies to hold off, Hoagie offered Wally a ride back to the moonbase, mostly to make up for his earlier actions and also to find out just why Wally of all people was at a Doctor Time-Space convention. During the flight, the blond had decided since all he really had left to do was deliver the package, there would be no harm in telling his teammate about his assignment.

And oh boy, did he tell alright. It didn't take Hoagie long at all to figure out Rachel had just tricked Wally into picking up her items since she was too busy to leave herself. But he wasn't about to tell him that, partly because he didn't want to see his friend disappointed and also because he didn't want him taking his anger out on him.

Okay, so it had more to with the second reason, but he'd been through a lot already, so lay off!

"This is probably gonna get me a big promotion! But don't worry, Numbuh 2. I'll remember you guys when I become a world famous spy," Wally promised. He then looked over to his friend, but was more drawn to the DVD box-set he carried. "Huh, that's weird. Your lame Doctor Time-Space DVD case looks almost EXACTLY like The Package."

"Oh, really?" Hoagie replied, tucking his box-set under his shoulder out of view. "Never noticed…"

"Numbuh 4!"

The two boys jumped as the voice echoed through the hall. They turned around just in time to see Rachel come to a screeching halt in front of them, the girl literally radiating excitement and bubbly anticipation. "I came as soon as our scanners picked you up in the hanger-bay, do you have it?"

"Do I have it," Wally chuckled as he presented the box to the blonde. "How's that answer your question?"

"FINALLY!" Rachel squealed as she ripped the package from his hands. "All eleven seasons, they're finally mine!"

"Wasn't a problem for me! Sure, any normal wussy woulda called it quits, but not me! I…wait," Wally stopped as her words caught up with her. And now that the 'mission' was over and the hype was gone, his brain started to slowly come back online. "Eleven seasons…"

"Hey, hold up a second," Rachel paused, distressed as she looked over the box. "Where's the signed adventure booklet? The whole reason to go there today was to get Mark Simmons' autograph!"

Wally's brows slowly knitted together. "Autograph…"

"There was some, uh, complications, ma'am," Hoagie spoke up. "Turns out the Interesting Twins showed up. The box-set went through their hands first, so they probably still have it."

"The Interesting Twins?" Rachel asked. "Why would they be at the Doctor Time-Space book signing?"

Wally felt his fists clenching. "Book signing…"

"They followed Numbuh 4. From what I got from it, they must have assumed 'The Package' had some sort of top secret intell on us."

"So they did all that and now they probably have my booklet?" Rachel summed up. "Are they crazy! What kind of person would believe there's some kind of secret data exchange going on at a Doctor Time-Space convention?" Hoagie's response was only a dry cough and subtly motioning to the left. Rachel blinked, then froze. Her expression became sheepish as she turned to Wally, who was now giving her a cold stare. "Um…I can explain…"

"It wasn't a mission at all, was it."

It wasn't a question, and Rachel racked her brain to think of a plausible excuse. "Now…Numbuh 4, I know I may have been wrong to…_misinform _you, and I know you might be a little _peeved_ about it – "

"Me? Mad? What give ya that idea?" he calmly asked, shrugging. "I mean, why would a guy be mad when he finds out all his hard work was for nothing? Why would he be mad when he finds out he completely humiliated himself for all the wrong reasons?"

Rachel looked down ashamed while Hoagie stepped to the side, having an idea of what was coming next. They both looked back to Wally when he started speaking again.

"Actually, come to think of it, I can see a lot of reasons why someone would be mad about that kind of thing," Wally spoke aloud as he scratched his head, as if he were formulating some new scientific theory. "Guess most guys would be mad, right?"

"Uh, I suppose," Rachel quietly said. She then looked at the blond operative and nervously smiled. "But, you're not like most guys, right?"

"Are you nuts?" Suddenly his face darkened, and he jerked the DVD box-set right out of her hands. "OF COURSE I'M LIKE MOST GUYS!"

"Whoa!" Rachel yelped as she and Hoagie took a step back. Worried for her merchandise, she rose her hands up peacefully to negotiate. "Okay Numbuh 4, let's just calm down."

"Don't you tell ME to calm down!" he raged, fire blazing in his angry gaze. "Do you know what kind of _crud_ I've been through? I had to dress up like some stupid nerd, had to KISS one, then make myself look like some idiot in front of some guy I thought was a spy! I completely embarrassed myself, and for what? JUST SO YOU CAN GET SOME LAME SCI-FI DVD SET?"

"Actually," Hoagie added his two cents, "it's the collector's edition."

"I have not forgotten about what you did to me, Hoagie," Wally spoke in a low, murderous voice that instinctively made the plump pilot shut his trap. He then looked towards Rachel, now raising up the package, barely holding himself back from smashing it. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't trash this thing!"

"Well for one, you'd owe me the seventy dollars I paid for it!" Rachel replied. Seeing the blond raise the package higher caused her calm down somewhat. "Okay, look, you have every right to be angry with me, Numbuh 4. Heck, maybe I should just let you smash it. I went completely against protocol for my own personal interest. But it was a moment of weakness, alright? I was just a little girl who needed to add DVDs and a piece of signature from her current favorite television actor to her collection. I did things I'm not proud of, and for that, I'm deeply sorry."

"So that's it? You're _sorry_?"

"I fully intended to award you for your efforts, even mark it down as a unofficial mission from me! Maybe even smudge out a few hiccups in your record, but let's not get ahead of ourselves," she sighed. "Look, I'm really, really, REALLY sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to make up to you. I'll even send you on cool spy mission for real this time, if I can. How does that sound?"

Wally held his glare for a few more seconds. Finally, he only scoffed. "Whatever." With a grunt, he tossed the box back to her. "Keep your lame nerd stuff. Thing won't stop making that annoying ticking sound anyway."

"Thank you Numbuh 4," Rachel smiled as the DVD set was back in her hands. She then blinked. "Wait, ticking?"

"Yea. Thing started ticking once we got in orbit, guess it couldn't handle Numbuh 2's flying or something."

While Hoagie went on to defend with piloting skills, Rachel inspected the box. "Does it come with a themed clock or something?"

Hoagie appeared confused. "Mine didn't."

Curious, Rachel slowly peeled back the opening and fiddled around inside. "There's no DVDs in here," she growled, preparing to go off before she suddenly stiffened and looked as if she was looking Death in the face. "IT'S A BOMB!"

"A BOMB?" Wally and Hoagie shouted. To prove she wasn't joking, she pulled out a large sphere object, with a timer that was counting down with every passing second. Blinking Wally cursed as he figured out what must have happened. "Those little sneaks! The Twins musta switched packages when I wasn't looking!"

Panicked, Rachel tossed it over to Wally. "I didn't pay for this!"

"What!" Wally yelped before flinging it to Hoagie. "I don't want it!"

"What makes you think I do!" he said before shoving back to Wally. "Here, happy Kwanzaa or something!"

"H-Hey!" Wally yelped as the bomb was given to him. "You're Jewish aren't ya, ma'am? In that case, you take it!"

Rachel gave the boy a wry look as the bomb found itself back in her hands, where it started. "What are doing playing hot potato? We need to get rid of this thing! Numbuh 2, do you know how to defuse this?"

Hoagie paled as he checked the timer. "I'm not sure I'll have enough time."

"Well we have to do something! We can't just leave up here!"

"Wait, I got an idea!" Wally proclaimed. He suddenly yanked the bomb from Rachel's hands and made a beeline down the hallway. After sharing a side-glance, Rachel and Hoagie took off after him.

"Come on, where is he?" Wally fretted as he looked around the security wing. Then he looked off to the side, and found the operative he was looking for tending to a turret. "Numbuh 20/20!"

"Huh?" the moonbase marksman raised his head and looked towards who called him. He saw three blurry bodies approaching him, the blond one in front he could recognize. "Numbuh 4, that you? Whaddya want?"

"Quick," Wally began, "remember that time after we knocked back those root beers, we started firing random junk out the turrets?"

"Wait a minute," Rachel interrupted as she glared at Numbuh 20/20. "That was _you_?"

"Numbuh 362? Uh, I can explain ma'am," Numbuh 20/20 worried. "What are you trying to do Numbuh 4, get me in hot water with Global Command?"

"Guys!" Hoagie snapped, pointing at the payload in Wally's hold. "Bomb!"

"Oh right, listen, ya gotta shoot this thing out the turret before it explodes!"

"Why didn't ya just say that?" The marksman carefully took the bomb from Wally and slowly loaded it into the turret. He then sat down at his firing terminal, pulled down his special sight-enhancing goggles, then began to get a target while everyone held their breath. "Firing in five…four…three…two…two and a half…two and a quarter …two and a – "

"MOVE!" Wally shoved the kid aside. Without warning, he slammed his hand down on the button, and watched as the bomb was shot out the turret. When it left the moonbase's orbit, all present company breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close."

"Yeah," Hoagie sighed as he wiped at his sweating forehead. "Sure glad that didn't 'blow up in our face' Ha!"

"Numbuh 2," Rachel groaned before looking at Wally. He still looked rather crossed with her. She then nervously chuckled. "Numbuh 4."

"What did you do that for?" Numbuh 20/20 interrupted. "I was waiting to get a clear target, now it just shot off back down to planet side. That thing's gonna ruin someone's day down there!"

"Let it," Wally huffed. "At least then, someone in the world will know how I feel right now."

* * *

><p>Back within Hugiplex mall, two children suddenly scampered up the stairs to the top floor. Once they were sure enough distance had been put between them and their pursuers, they hunched over to catch their breaths.<p>

The Interesting Twin brother looked over his shoulder. "I think we lost them."

"Thank goodness zombies lack the mental capacity to climb stairs," the Twin sister sighed as she recomposed herself. "Do you have it, brother?"

"Oh yes, dear sister," he grinned devilishly as he held up the package they stole off of Wally. "We are always a step ahead. Now we have all the KND's secrets within this parcel, and that foolish Numbuh 4 is delivering the Supreme Leader her doom for us!"

"The anticipation is overwhelming," the girl said gleefully. "Open it!"

"Oh yes. Father will be most pleased when we deliver to him…" he paused, the glow of happiness diminishing as he pulled out what was really inside. "…a collector's edition Doctor Time-Space and the Continuum DVD Box set?"

The Twin sister stared blankly at the item. Her eye twitched a bit, and when it appeared she was ready to snap, she only slumped to her knees. "Figures…"

"Cheer up, dear sister," her brother ventured as he patted her on the back. "It could be worse."

"How?"

"Ahem," at the call, the Twins turned around to see Ernest towering above him. The bully was weary and bruised, but all too ready to dish out some payback. "Beatles may have ran off, but I still got a bone to pick with you two."

The Interesting Twins held each other as the bully approached, but just when they thought he would pound them into oblivion, a crash from the ceiling drew their attention upwards. They looked up just in time to see a round object plow through the ceiling and land on the floor right in front of them.

"Hey," the girl began as she squinted her eyes. "Doesn't that look like…" she trailed off as she and her brother recognized the bomb they had sent along with Numbuh 4. But how did it get back down here?

"What're you two staring at?" Ernest growled. The Twins looked to him, then each other, then suddenly made a break for it. Before Ernest could even grasp what was going on, the Twins leapt out the nearest window.

"Wimps," the bully scoffed as he turned to leave. However, a ticking noise caught his attention and he dropped his gaze downward to see some round thing on the floor. "What the heck is this thing?" he asked right as the timer reached zero.

* * *

><p><em>In conclusion: Mission complete.<em>

_Congratulations, operative. You've finally completed your first spy mission. But don't let it go to your head, you're not some showy-off jerk pants, are you? Of course you're not, or at least that's what you keep telling yourself._

_But in short, thank you for reading KND Espionage for Dummies. We hope you'll take away something from all the advice and instruction we presented in this guide. If nothing else, you've learned some new big words to make yourself look smarter._

_All joking aside, good luck operative. In this crazy adult world, you're going to need it._

_This book will now self-destruct in five…four…three…two…_

_Surprise! Oh man, we only wish we could have seen the look on your face!_


End file.
